13 September 2023

Welcome to Wonderland by Bobbie Candas Book Blast!

 


GENRE:   women's fiction--romance



A recently fired biologist with mommy issues, a successful entrepreneur with a dead wife, and an immigrant hiding from gang violence…These three have only one thing in common.
They’re all screwed up

Biology researcher, Violet Hill, was just let go and is devastated. She found the solitary lab and long hours the ideal respite for her anxiety issues--doing meaningful work while avoiding people and conversation. Now unemployed, with diminishing finances, Violet is forced to face the enemy, her mother.  

For years, Turner Cooper was consumed with building his company’s client roster, until the sudden death of his wife throws him totally off kilter. Now, instead of work, Turner’s guilt and alcohol issues consume him.

Living a reclusive life in Dallas, Rosario Guzman is hiding from a Mexican cartel while working in the shadows at three part-time jobs. Finally, the item she covets the most, a Green Card, arrives in her mailbox. But Rosario quickly realizes the paper card doesn’t solve all her problems.

While  navigating social issues, private demons, and nightmare memories, these three lives collide as they find each other at a place none of them ever imagined they’d be working at. As their mutual relationship evolves, Violet, Turner and Rosario lean into each other and unexpectedly find their lives unfurling in remarkable and magical ways.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Violet is Blue

Violet Hill

   

Mother considers me awkward, graceless, and socially challenged, but always has hope for improvement. I disagree and think of myself as critically shy. Is there such a diagnosis? I’ve learned I do best when I can control limited social encounters. That’s why I’m better working alone, in a world I’m comfortable and familiar with, the study of soil, seeds, and grasses.


I’ve been working as a research assistant with Dr. William Hirshfield. After finishing my masters at UT in Austin, I gratefully found my hidey-hole at the UT School of Environmental Sciences. After being hired, I realized it was the perfect job for me. For a year, we’ve been running experiments and collecting data on soil absorption, attempting to come up with a microbial substance that will turn arid lands into potential blooming fields of agriculture. All well and good for keeping me in my cozy, solitary research lab, but with the added bonus of working toward saving a warm and crowded planet.


Then yesterday happened.


Dr. Hirshfield called me unexpectedly to meet in his office. We normally only met every two weeks for consultations on experiments. I sat down across from his desk, with my sweating palms gripping the arm rests of the chair. The meeting opened with congenial small-talk. I said, “Hello.” 


As with most people I conversed with, I found it difficult looking at Hirshfield when he spoke. Today I found his floorboards especially interesting. Wide wood panels which had me wondering, were they deliberately distressed or actually marred from age? As he shuffled papers on his desk I reached down and touched the floor. Definitely faux distressed. 


 He nervously coughed and then continued, “Violet, I must say, your work has been exemplary, but…”


Oh shit… The proverbial but. I shuddered slightly.  


As I pretended to be intrigued with the floor, Hirshfield said, “I’m afraid I have some bad news to share.” He coughed again. “I’ll just get right to it. I hate to tell you this, but our next year of NIH funding has been cut. They haven’t renewed the terms of our project at the previous level and claim our results are not going as quickly as we initially projected.”


He seemed to be talking to himself now, explaining his problems to the ceiling as my eyes nervously flitted up occasionally to watch. “Seems our study is on the low end of their priority scale regarding research grant money. But our idea has so much merit! It dovetails perfectly with climate change issues and food production for overpopulated areas. Anyway…it’s probably all politics. Therefore—" He coughed a third time. Nervous tick or avoidance? Either way, not a good sign. “I’m having to cut most of my research staff, including your position.” 


Please no. Had I heard correctly? I was praying he’d single me out as too good to let go. But of course not. My eyes became moist and my body went cold. I had finally found my place in this chaotic world, my comfy, musty den. Where I could reach my fingers deep into sandy soil and disappear into another world within my microscope. I’d clock in for hours of uninterrupted work, eat a sandwich over my work station by myself, needing to only interact with others regarding information I was knowledgeable about. 


Now apparently all that was gone. 


And what remained? Going home to Mother? I was devastated. I felt like laying down on those faux floorboards and curling up in a ball.


“Dr. Hirshfield, p-perhaps p-part-time. Tw-Twenty-five hours a week?” 


In case you missed that, I have a noticeable stutter, which seems to come into full bloom during times of stress.


“I only wish that were possible, Violet. The grant has been downgraded to include lab equipment, supplies, and compensation for only a few key personnel. I’m so sorry. This has all come as quite a surprise. So, we’re making adjustments immediately; I can keep you for another two weeks. I wanted you to hear it from me, personally.”


 I mumbled, “Th-Thank you,” then stood up, wrapped my arms across my chest, and meekly asked about a possible reference letter. He went back to shuffling papers and nodded, agreeing to my simple request. I quickly walked out with my head down, making my exit before he had the chance to shake my perspiring palm. 


I spent the next few weeks desperately attempting to find a position with another research team within the department. There were several available for volunteer and credit work, but all paid positions were fully staffed. Although my educational credentials were excellent, my interviewing skills were a little shaky. I considered customer service positions, but they never seemed a good match, and I truly wanted to continue within my field of study. 


At the end of the two-week period, I decided to call in for financial reinforcement. Via email, I sent my mother news of the change in job status, then requested funds to keep me in Austin while I continued to look for work, but instead of an electronic deposit, she offered this:


Dear Violet,

So sorry to hear about your job loss. I know you’ve been happy with your little research position. Sometimes these minor hiccups work out for the best. I think you need more stimulation and interaction in your work. When I visited, your lab job seemed so sterile and lonely. I’m sure I can line something up for you through my contacts in Dallas. Come home, darling. The guest house was recently redone and you’re welcome to use it. It’ll be fun hanging out together again. I believe I’ll call Lexy and see if she can revise her schedule and set aside sessions for you. What day should I expect you? Can’t wait to catch up! --Mother


She was not going to be sympathetic to my cause. I made a second stab at job hunting, knowing it was only a delay tactic. Was I being an ungrateful little bitch? Sort of. But I knew I’d have to deal with my mother’s incessant smiling face, popping in without warning, spewing false cheer, urging me to conform to her standards, and always sending out subliminal messages regarding her underlying sense of disappointment in me.


It had been five years since I’d lived at home. My first year in the dorms had been a disaster. I was happier on my own, renting an apartment for three years while earning my bachelor’s and another two for my masters, comfortably surviving in my small, quiet efficiency.


In contrast, Mother’s home was palatial, but for me it was a luxurious prison sitting on a green oak-studded hill overlooking White Rock Lake in Dallas. 


I dragged out my move. I felt no incentive to rush home knowing what lay ahead; struggling through painful interviews, going through clothing issues and social events with Mother. Yes, still a tender issue at age twenty-four. Then, once again, I’d start sessions with my speech therapist, Lexy. 


Unfortunately, research assistant’s pay was low, Austin rents were high, and the guest house at Mother’s was free. Economically, it made sense. Emotionally, I was an unhappy wreck.


And who could I complain to? Call 911 -- My mother is inviting me to move into her newly renovated guest quarters. Put her on trial? -- She insists on buying me new clothing suggested by her personal shopper at Neiman’s. Lock her up? -- She’s offering me therapy for an affliction which admittedly has recently become worse. 


I was a pathetic whiner. Time to get up, pack it in, and get moving.




Bobbie Candas lives in Dallas, Texas with her husband, Mehmet Candas, a stray gray cat, and a jealous tabby who does not enjoy sharing affection with the interloper. Bobbie attended The University of Texas in Austin, earning her degree in journalism. She took a detour with a career in retail management, and found her happy place when she returned to writing fiction about nine years ago.


Amazon Author Page: https://www.amazon.com/stores/author/B00MNS6KV0

Facebook: facebook.com/bobbiecandasauthor

Good Reads: https:// www. goodreads. com/ author/ show/ 8292457. Bobbie. Candas

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bobbiecandas/


Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CGYSJL4P


Bobbie Candas will be awarding a $25 Amazon or Barnes and Noble GC to a randomly drawn winner via rafflecopter during the tour.

12 September 2023

Unfurling the Sails A Grey Shima Adventure by Sarah Branson Book Tour! @SilverDaggerBookTours #SilverDaggerBookTours #SDBookTours

 #SarahBransonAuthor #authorsarahbranson

 
A storm. A plot. And a rivalry that spans generations.

Unfurling the Sails

A Grey Shima Adventure

by Sarah Branson

Genre: YA SciFi Adventure

A storm. A plot. And a rivalry that spans generations.

In this thrilling young adult novel, a storm sets the stage for a gripping tale of adventure, suspense, and unlikely alliances. Fourteen-year-old Grey Shima is unimpressed with growing up. So she throws herself into the things she loves: sailing, whittling, and losing herself in fantasy and adventure stories. When she qualifies to participate in the Great Sea Race, Grey is ready to face the challenges that lie ahead.

Caught in a rogue storm, Grey and her sworn enemy, Ashton, are thrown together in the Great Sea. Their struggles are far from over as they uncover a sinister plot that threatens the lives of thousands. In a race against time, Grey and Ashton must confront their deepest fears to save themselves and protect their loved ones.

Prepare to be swept away as two reluctant allies discover the true meaning of resilience and the transformative power of friendship.

**Only 99 cents!!**

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These winds are picking up fast. We need to heave to, get a sea anchor out, and put the storm sails up. And we needed to do it an hour ago.

While I won’t say it to Darvin, I’m actually a bit surprised that the storm developed as quickly as it did. If I had known it would blow in with such intensity and speed, I would have stayed on deck. But I wanted to finish the chapter I had begun last night at bedtime, and I really had to pee. Another swell strikes the boat, and water rushes over the deck. I reposition the tiller, trying to keep the bow pointed toward the waves, but we are moving too fast with both sails up.

I mutter to myself, my words slipping into the wind, unheard, “I’d have been ready for this storm. The sky was red this morning, and the pressure’s been dropping.” It’s not the first squall I’ve managed on the Fascination in the past two weeks, and it won’t be the last before we make port back in Haida—that’s just part of sailing the ocean.

Lots of people like to take a boat out on a nice day when there’s just enough breeze for a pleasant sail. Those folk never lose sight of the shore. And that’s fine–for them. Me, I like the wildness of the open ocean, its unpredictable character, the way it spreads in every direction as if there is nothing else on the planet except for blue water and you on your little boat. To be sure, the sea is unforgiving, but it is fair. If you respect it and have the skills and understanding of how it functions in all its moods, you’ll do fine. But there are no guarantees and that’s the thrilling part. To sail the open ocean, you have to be prepared for storms, for rogue waves, even for sea life, like whales. All those things can upend your ship and drop you into the depths. 

Of course, during the race there were always watchers sailing near–especially for the under-twenty crews. Now, the watchers are gone, and we are on our own. Adrenaline pulses through my body making me vigilant and somewhat anxious. I glance up. The mast stands firm. The storm will likely only last a couple of hours. Maybe Darvin will be proven right, and we can sail out of it sooner. Maybe.

Darvin reefs the sails, and I find the tiller a bit easier to handle as the boat slows a bit. He turns and points a See? I was right finger at me and grins. He starts to say something, then turns his head toward starboard, his face wrinkling and his mouth dropping open to yell, but I don’t hear whatever he is going to say. Instead, there is a groaning and crunching that fills my ears, and the huge hull of a yacht slides in front of my face. The smooth, white side looms at me like some behemoth of the deep, and I know for certain I am going to be crushed and killed until I feel my feet come up, and I am tossed backward off the stern into the churning, foaming waters of the Great Sea.

* * *

Sarah Branson, an award-winning author and experienced midwife, weaves thrilling tales of action and adventure with airborne pirates amidst a world transformed by fires, floods, and pandemics.

Sarah first started conjuring stories of pirates when her family hopped a freighter to Australia when she was seven. She has since grown up, traveling the globe, raising a family, and teaching science and history to middle school and high school students in the U.S., Brazil, and Japan. Her diverse life journey inspires her storytelling.

A Merry Life, her debut novel, received prestigious honors. It is the first book of her Pirates of New Earth series that has captivated readers. Unfurling the Sails is her first novel written for teen readers.

Sarah and her husband call Connecticut home. She firmly believes the strength and resiliency of the human spirit combined with the power of badass women will create a better world for all.

Website * Facebook * Twitter * Instagram * Bookbub * Amazon * Goodreads

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Things That Go Jack In The Night by TG Wolff Book Tour!

 September 11-15, 2023 Virtual Book Tour

Mysteries to Die For: Season 6

In the English language, there are a few, very special words that can function as nouns, verbs, adjectives, and adverbs. One word goes further, creating new words from old.

That word is JACK.

The brandy distilled from hard cider was the first applejack, the word now synonymous with a children’s cereal. There is the nefarious one-eyed jack of playing card fame. Animals from the jackdaw to the jackrabbit to the elusive jackalope roam all the ranges. There are the ever growing number of people named Jack, birth named or nicknamed, heroes to villains. The way the word “jack” is used in the English language is truly unique, inventive, and too numerous for us to count.

For your puzzle solving pleasure, Mysteries to Die For presents: Things That Go Jack in the Night.

Pepper jack cheese. Lumberjack. Wolfman Jack. Jack be Nimble. One-eyed Jack. Jackass. Jacking Off. Jackalope. Jack-in-the-box. Jackknife. Jackpot. Audio jack.

Twelve stories arranged for you to deduce the truth. Twelve “jacks” that should definitely not be taken at face value. It’s a race between you and the detective to find the killer amid the jack in the night.

Book Details:

Genre: Mystery, Short Story
Published by: Mysteries To Die For
Publication Date: September 2023
Number of Pages: 288
Book Links: Amazon | Barnes & Noble | Goodreads | Mysteries to Die For

TG Wolff and Jack Wolff co-host the podcast Mysteries to Die For. This storytelling podcast combines with original music to put you in the heart of a mystery. All stories are structured to challenge you to beat the detective to the solution. Each season, authors craft whodunnit mysteries around a theme.

Season 6: Things that Go Jack in the Night features: KM Rockwood, Chuck Brownman, Nikki Knight, Ed Teja, Erica Obey, Kyra Jacobs, Ken Harris, Susan Wingate, TG Wolff, and Jack Wolff.

Get More Mysteries to Die For:
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BookBub - @TG_Wolff
Instagram - @tg_wolff
Twitter - @tg_wolff
Facebook - M2D4Podcast

Tour Participants:

Visit these other great hosts on this tour for more great reviews and opportunities to WIN in the giveaway!


JOIN IN ON THE GIVEAWAY:

This is a giveaway hosted by Partners in Crime Tours for TG Wolff & the Mysteries to Die For crew. See the widget for entry terms and conditions. Void where prohibited.

 A print edition of each of the released Mysteries to Die For books: A Word Before Dying, Move It or Lose It, and Things That Go Jack In The Night [US Only]


Get More Great Reads at Partners In Crime Tours

 

On the Rails by Rosemary and Larry Mild Spotlight Tour Review and Guest Post!

On the Rails by Rosemary and Larry Mild
On the Rails: The Adventures of Boxcar Bertie by Rosemary and Larry Mild 

Publisher:  Magic Island Literary Works (July 1, 2023)
Category: Historical Fiction
Tour Dates August 21-Sept 22, 2023
ISBN: 978-099054724
Available in Print and ebook, 230 pages

  On The Rails

Description On the Rails by Rosemary and Larry Mild

What’s a woman to do? Bertie Patchet has just graduated from college in New Haven, Connecticut, to become a grammar school teacher. But the year is 1936, and the country is deep in the throes of The Great Depression. Securing employment is nearly impossible for everyone, let alone a single inexperienced female. 

Going home is an ugly option to be avoided. Bertie absolutely must get away, but travel without an income? Forget it! Bertie dresses like a man and turns to hopping railway boxcars to make her escape to better opportunities. A female hobo? Unheard of! It’s a man’s world, so how can she maneuver in this male atmosphere fraught with risk, danger, and loss? 

Will she ever find a teaching job? And will she dare to find romance in the bargain? A charming new novel with an unforgettable protagonist, a setting to die for, and a mesmerizing plotline, On the Rails is on track to become another beloved tale by dynamic husband-and-wife duo Rosemary and Larry Mild.

Guest review by Laura Lee

Who is Bertie Patchett and where is she going?

These are the central questions asked by the main character in Rosemary and Larry Mild's new novel, 'On the Rails: The Adventures of Boxcar Bertie.'

Many young people go through a soul-searching phase when they leave college, but Bertie Patchett happens to be doing this during the Great Depression, arguably the worst economic period in America's history.

It only makes sense that she would see the men riding the rails, trying to find work and wonder if that was the right choice for her.

Bertie decides to take to the rails after nearly being assaulted by her step-father and leaving her mother's house once and for all.

As a woman alone, she realizes that she must protect herself if she is going to travel among mostly men, and she takes it upon herself to dress up as a man, calling herself Bert.

Traveling as a man, Bertie makes friends, enemies and shady acquaintances as she travels from town to town along the east coast, taking jobs when she can to survive.

I greatly enjoyed this lively novel, and I feel like I learned a lot about the Great Depression from reading it.

Also, I appreciated how tough and smart Bertie was as a character. I loved her for her strength but also her vulnerability that really showed who she was and made her realistic.

Bertie faced a lot of difficult situations in this novel, from the beginning right up to the end, and watching her grow and change as she went along really made this novel a five-star read for me!

I won't say how this one ends for fear of spoiling it, but lets just say I found the ending very satisfying and refreshing, and I look forward to finding more books from these authors to read! 

A Hobo’s Interview with Bertie Pachet

Scene: It’s 1936. Bertie has just jumped from a freight train moving too fast and twisted her ankle. A kind hobo has helped her from the track gravel to his campfire to share a much-needed meal in an isolated grassy nook of the New Haven rail yard.

 Bertie: That sure was a tasty meal. Thank you. The beans and rye bread really hit the spot.

Hobo: Say, lad, where are you off to, anyway?

Bertie: I’m not a lad, Mister. I’m a full-grown woman, and where I’m going is none of your darn    business.

 Hobo: Sorry, Miss. But if you’re a woman, why are you all decked out like that—like a lad?

Bertie: Because a lady can’t go certain places dressed like a lady.

Hobo: And what places might that be?

Bertie: If you must know, I ride the rails.

Hobo: You mean the freight trains in a boxcar, like me?

Bertie: Yes, that’s right. In a boxcar. It’s the only way I can get where I want to go. I haven’t any money to pay for passenger fare.

 Hobo: No one does these days. I blame it on the Depression. But where is this place you have to get to?

 Bertie: Anywhere I can find a job. You’re a pretty nosy guy, aren’t you?

Hobo: I apologize for that, Miss, I don’t mean you any harm. I’m just passing the time of day with you. I like to learn things about people—like, what kind of employment are you looking for?

 Bertie: I’m a grammar school teacher and I’m looking for a school that will have me. Or maybe I can find a rich family that will hire me to tutor their kids.

 Hobo: This is 1936. There aren’t too many rich people around here anymore. Have you even got any credentials for teaching?

 Bertie: You bet I do. I graduated top of my class at the Connecticut State Normal School for teachers last June.

 Hobo: I suppose you wouldn’t take any other job in the meantime?

 Bertie: You’re wrong again, Mister. I’ve done some cooking, cleaning, and waiting tables to earn my keep. I’ve even worked on a farm for a while.

 Hobo: Where have you traveled so far?

Bertie: Pretty much all over southern New England—Connecticut, Rhode Island, and Massachusetts—wherever the train stops.

 Hobo: Anything happen in those places?

Bertie: Lots of things. A good deal of danger, punishment, and excitement too.

Hobo: Wasn’t it scary for you riding those boxcars?

Bertie: You bet. Getting on and off a moving boxcar is a pretty tricky thing—one misstep and you’re in deep, deep trouble. Then there are the rail yard guards. If they catch you, they’ll beat the living tar out of you. And you never know who or what you’ll meet once you’re in a boxcar.

 Hobo: Say, you’re pretty spunky for a lady—not a bad looker either.

Bertie: Whoa there, Mister. I draw the line at expressions like that. Now don’t you go getting too friendly with me.

 Hobo: Sorry, Miss, it’s just an observation. I’m not making a pass at you. Say, don’t you have a home—somebody you care about? Everybody has to come from someplace.

 Bertie: Yes, in New Haven, the Hill section, just up the hill from the railroad station here. But I can’t go back home—ever.

 Hobo: Why is that, Miss?

 Bertie: Because I have a rotten, abusive stepfather, whom I abhor, and a drunken, permissive mother. That’s why, Mr. Nosy.

 Hobo: What happened to your real father?

Bertie: He died a long, long time ago, and my mother remarried this ne’er-do-well, a loser without a job or sense of morality.

 Hobo: What was your father like? Was there ever any love in your family?

Bertie: Daddy was a gem, and Mommy wasn’t drinking back then. We were a happy, loving family. I miss them both terribly, but life at my house can never be anything but misery now.

 Hobo: Do they own the house or do they rent?

Bertie: They own the house, but they’re going to lose it soon. They’re getting too far behind in the payments.

Hobo: Have there been any other men in your past?

 Bertie: Not that it’s any of your beeswax. I’ve met a few I befriended along the way.

Hobo: Did anything ever develop with these guys?

Bertie: Mostly we were just friends, colleagues in boxcar riding. Some tried to take advantage of me, and I gave them what they deserved. I’m still intact, but I’m certainly looking forward to romance and security in my future.

 Hobo: Well, good for you.

Bertie: Let’s just say I’m a determined woman. I know where I’m going.

Hobo: I’ll ask you again. Where’re you headed, Miss?

Bertie: A job interview.

Hobo: Dressed like that?

Bertie: Of course not, I’ve got a decent dress folded up in the bottom of my backpack.

Hobo: Good luck, Miss. I’ll be on my way now.

Bertie: Hey, wait. I’ve been spilling out my whole life to you. Don’t you think it’s about time you tell me something about you?

 Hobo: Sure, Miss, but that will have to be at another time and place.

© Rosemary and Larry Mild

On the Rails by Rosemary and Larry MildAbout Rosemary and Larry Mild

Rosemary and Larry Mild coauthored the Dan & Rivka Sherman Mysteries; the Paco and the Molly Mysteries; Hawaii adventure/thrillers Cry Ohana and Honolulu Heat; and four volumes of short stories, including their new one, Charlie and the Magic Jug and Other Stories. 

Many of their stories appear in anthologies. The Milds, a happy husband-and-wife team, make their home in Honolulu, where they cherish time with their daughter, son-in-law, and grandchildren. 

 Website:  https://www.magicile.com/

Buy On the Rails by Rosemary and Larry Mild

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Giveaway On the Rails by Rosemary and Larry Mild

This giveaway is for 1 print copy and is open to the U.S. only  This giveaway ends on September 22, 2023 midnight, pacific time.  Entries are accepted via Rafflecopter only.


On The Rails by Rosemary and Larry Mild

Follow On the Rails by Rosemary and Larry Mild

Teddy Rose Book Reviews Plus  Aug 21 Kickoff & Interview

Lu Ann Rockin’ Book Reviews Aug 22 Review & Guest Post

Leslie. Storeybook Reviews Aug 28 Review

Marion Moonlight Musings  Aug 29 Review

Patricia Amazon Sept 1 Review

Wendy Wall to Wall Books Sept 6 Review

Laura Lee Celticlady’s Reviews Sept 12 Review & Guest Post

Denise Amazon & Goodreads Sept 13 Review

Bee Book Pleasures Sept 14 Review & Interview

Teddy Rose Book Reviews Plus Sept 21 Review

Amy Locks, Hooks and Books Sept 22 Review &Excerpt


On the Rails by Rosemary and Larry Mild

Citizen Orlov by Jonathan Payne Book Tour!

 

Citizen Orlov by Jonathan Payne Banner

September 4-29, 2023 Virtual Book Tour

Citizen Orlov by Jonathan Payne

Not every fishmonger can be a secret agent.

Journey to an unnamed mountainous country in central Europe at the end of the Great War. Enter Citizen Orlov, a simple fishmonger and an honest, upright citizen, who answers a phone call meant for a secret agent and stumbles into a hidden world of espionage and secrecy. Recruited by the Ministry of Security, he is sent on assignment to safeguard the king.

But Orlov soon discovers that his ministry handler, the alluring femme fatale Agent Zelle, is planning not to protect the king but to assassinate him. Caught in a web of plot and counterplot, confusing loyalties, and explosive betrayals, Orlov finds himself on trial for murder. Given the opportunity to clear his name, he finds that the lives of his friends, mother, and fellow citizens hang in the balance.

Praise for CITIZEN ORLOV:

"A triumph—and an answer to that age-old question of what would have happened had Gogol, Kafka and G. K. Chesterton collaborated on a thriller. A timeless work which will, I fear, be forever timely."
~ Dixe Wills, author of Places to Hide and New World Order

"Jonathan Payne's Citizen Orlov is a stunning debut! A page turning, down-the-rabbit-hole delight, told with equal measure of wit and suspense. A timeless classic for our current moment; a paranoid and comic thriller with a surprise on every page. I loved it!"
~ Don Scardino, Producer/Director, 30 Rock, New Amsterdam

"Highly engaging, and written with an engaging lightness of touch, Citizen Orlov marks the debut of a comic novelist to watch for the future."
~ Dr. Adam Lively, Senior Lecturer in Creative Writing & Programme Leader, MA Novel Writing, Middlesex University

"The blend of action and picaresque buffoonery flatteringly calls Conan Doyle’s Brigadier Gerard tales to mind, and Payne pulls off a genuinely surprising conclusion. This auspicious debut announces a bright new voice in comic suspense."
~ Publishers Weekly, Starred Review

[An] odyssey that seems part Kafka, part ‘Alice in Wonderland.
~ Wall Street Journal

Book Details:

Genre: Espionage Thriller
Published by: CamCat Books
Publication Date: May 2023
Number of Pages: 288
ISBN: 9780744309010 (ISBN10: 0744309018)
Book Links: Amazon | Barnes & Noble | BookShop.org | Goodreads | CamCat Books

Read an excerpt:

On a frigid winter’s morning in a mountainous region of central Europe, Citizen Orlov, a simple fishmonger, is taking a shortcut along the dank alley behind the Ministries of Security and Intelligence when a telephone begins to ring. He thinks nothing of it and continues on his daily constitutional, his heavy boots crunching the snow between the cobbles.

The ringing continues, becoming louder with each step. A window at the back of the ministry buildings is open, just a little. The ringing telephone sits on a table next to the open window. Orlov stops, troubled by this unusual scene: there is no reason for a window to be open on such a cold day. Since this is the Ministry of either Security or Intelligence, could an open window be a security breach of some kind?

Orlov is tempted to walk away. After all, this telephone call is none of his business. On the other hand, he is an upright and patriotic citizen who would not want to see national security compromised simply because no one was available to answer a telephone call. He is on the verge of stepping toward the open window when he hears footsteps ahead. A tight group of four soldiers is marching into the alley, rifles on shoulders. He freezes for a second, leans against

the wall, and quickly lights a cigarette. By the time the soldiers reach him, Orlov is dragging on the cigarette and working hard to appear nonchalant. The soldiers are palace guardsmen, but the red insignia on their uniforms indicates they are part of the elite unit that protects the Crown Prince, the king’s ambitious older son. Orlov nods politely, but the soldiers ignore him and march on at speed.

The telephone is still ringing. Someone very much wants an answer. Orlov stubs his cigarette on the wall and approaches the open window. The telephone is loud in his right ear. Peering through the gap, he sees a small, gloomy storeroom with neatly appointed shelves full of stationery.

Finally, he can stand it no longer. He reaches through the window, picks up the receiver, and pulls it on its long and winding cable out through the window to his ear.

“Hello?” says Orlov, looking up and down the alley to check he

is still alone.

“Thank God. Where have you been?” says an agitated voice, distant and crackly. Orlov is unsure what to say. The voice continues. “Kosek. Right now.”

“I’m sorry?” says Orlov.

“Kosek. Agent Kosek.”

Orlov peers into the storeroom again. “There’s no one here,” he says.

“Well, fetch him then. And hurry, for God’s sake. It’s important.”

Orlov is sorely tempted to end the call and walk away, but the voice is so angry that he dare not.

“One minute,” he says, and lays the receiver on the table. He opens the window wider and, with some considerable effort, pulls himself headfirst into the storeroom, where he tumbles onto the floor. Picking himself up, he slaps the dust from his overcoat, opens the storeroom door, and peers along the hallway; all is dark and quiet.

With some trepidation, Orlov returns to the telephone. “Hello?” he says.

“Kosek?”

“No, sorry. I’ll have to take a message.”

The caller is still agitated. “Well, focus on what I’m about to say. It’s life and death.”

Orlov’s hands are shaking. “Hold on,” he says, “I’ll fetch some paper.”

Before he can put the receiver down, the caller explodes with anger. “Are you a simpleton? Do not write this down. Remember it.”

“Yes, sir. Sorry,” says Orlov. “I’ll remember it.”

“Are you ready?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Here it is. We could not—repeat not—install it in room six. Don’t ask why, it’s a long story.”

The man is about to continue, but Orlov interrupts him. “Should I include that in the message: ‘it’s a long story’?”

“Mother of God,” shouts the man. “Why do they always give me the village idiot? No. Forget that part. I’ll start again.”

“Ready,” says Orlov.

This time the man speaks slower and more deliberately, as if to a child. “We could not—repeat not—install it in room six. You need to get room seven. It’s hidden above the wardrobe. Push the lever up, not down. Repeat that back to me.”

Orlov is now shaking all over, and he grimaces as he forces himself to focus. He repeats the message slowly but correctly.

“Whatever else you do, get that message to Kosek, in person. No one else. Lives depend on it. Understood?”

“Understood,” says Orlov, and the line goes dead.

***

Excerpt from Citizen Orlov by Jonathan Payne. Copyright 2023 by Jonathan Payne. Reproduced with permission from CamCat Books. All rights reserved.

Jonathan Payne

Jonathan Payne is a British-American writer based outside Washington, D.C. He holds a Master of Arts degree in Novel Writing from Middlesex University, London. His short fiction has been featured at the North London Story Festival and in magazines including Turnpike, Twist in Time and Fiction Kitchen Berlin. Before moving to the United States, he worked for the British government on matters of national security. When not writing or reading, he can be found in the boxing gym.

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