Bitch, Please! How Nice Girls Can Succeed
in a Bitch’s World
by Megan Monroe
Please welcome Megan Monroe to Celticlady's Review as she tells us about her Filter Philosophy.
As we look back during National Women’s History Month and celebrate all the women who’ve paved the way for our success, it’s also the perfect quarter point to revisit your goals and intentionally recommit yourself to the positive history you would like to make in 2011.
We’ve all heard the quote “well behaved women rarely make history” (in fact I have a whole chapter in my book dedicated to it) but before you bust out the motorcycle boots and get a tattoo of Marilyn Monroe on your forearm, you may be surprised to find out that the author of that quote didn’t write it as a free pass to behave badly.
In fact, Laurel Thatcher Ulrich wrote that line out of the simple observation that well-behaved women who led fascinating and quiet lives rarely made headlines.
The same is true today.
Unfortunately, in today’s media we don’t often see good examples of women making daily positive change. Instead, the 24/7 news cycle showcases the constant influx of unfiltered comments and news”worthy” stories from women like Jersey Shore’s Snooki and Lindsay Lohan—converting this type of bad behavior into the norm and setting the bar lower and lower.
However, that doesn’t mean that there aren’t women in the media that are using their notoriety for good, we just don’t hear about them as often. The website, www.looktothesatrs.com highlights “the world of celebrity giving”, where women like Taylor Swift are applauded for donating $500,000 to the relief fund for the Nashville floods and Alicia Keys who raised 1.1 million dollars for her Keep a Child Alive foundation by encouraging her celebrity friends to refrain from tweeting until the money was raised.
The difficult part for regular Jane’s like you and me, is that we don’t have hundreds of thousands of dollars to donate to a cause. But that doesn’t mean we can’t become positive change makers.
I’m a firm believer in the idea that affecting the world you live in doesn’t take a lot of money- it just takes conscientiousness and time.
This year, since money is tight for everyone, instead of making a lengthy list of resolutions that you probably won’t keep why not take one small principle and apply it to your daily life, one principle that can help define your personal history?
Here’s one to try. I call it filtering.
Filtering means that instead of speaking your mind the minute a thought enters it, take some time to formulate your opinion and say it with kindness and empathy. We have too many women in the media and in our neighborhoods speaking without a filter, and this can lead to some bad behavior.
I believe that in order to be a passionate and successful woman in this world we have to be bold in our passions and stand up for ourselves. But I also think there may be a little too much speaking and not enough listening going on.
That's why this filter is so important. It can clear out unnecessary comments and instead put the thought back into thinking.
Nice girl or bitch- we are all human, which means that we will say things we shouldn't. But the difference is that a nice girl invests the time it takes to put her filter on, and the bitch just blurts without caring who gets hurt.
Discovering my filter was one of the reasons I decided to write Bitch, Please! I wanted to get better at being honest and to become a woman of integrity—like so many of the great women who’ve come before me.
So what are some simple steps for filtering?
1. Get up or bite down.
This may mean excusing yourself to use the restroom, asking for a glass of water, or physically biting your tongue before you respond during a potentially uncomfortable or hurtful conversation.
In the conversations I have with women who deal with "bitches", I find that the hurtful things taking place have more to do with an unfiltered thought-to-mouth process than intention. In today's world we are told to "speak our mind"- but can we agree that sometimes the negative things we think shouldn't be said? Or at least they should be filtered?
2. Build up
After you’ve formulate a filtered thought, a good rule of thumb is to always compliment before you say anything negative. Don’t just say, “Suzie, I like your headband but your advice sucks.” Say something kind. “Suzie, you know I have always appreciated your opinion, but right now I just need some time to figure this out on my own.”
A filter doesn't just keep you from saying things you shouldn't it also helps you to say what you really mean.
These are just two simple way to make March the kicking off point to create more positive impact in your corner of the world.
I would encourage you today to install a filter.
It just takes a moment to think before you speak, but it can take a lifetime to try and take back what’s already been said.
Making history and changing the world begins in your backyard. Your family, friends, and foes are a microcosm of that world, and that is the stage by which you have been blessed to live out your life and make positive history.
So the question begs to be asked, do you think using discretion when it comes to speaking your mind is a good or bad way to be and can it really alter your personal history?
Thank You Megan!!!
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Megan Munroe is the author of Bitch, Please! How Nice Girls Can Succeed in a Bitch’s World, and founder of the Nice Girls Rule Movement. For more thoughts on living a filtered life visit: www.nicegirlsrule.blogspot.com or www.meganmunroeauthor.com.
ISBN: 9781596528062 Price: $24.95
Available March 2011
Megan Munroe’s Bitch? Please! delivers a saucy communiqué empowering nice girls to kick passivity to the curb and instead use the strength of inward kindness to shake the foundation of the bitch’s empire. Bitch? Please! provides compelling answers to questions that nice girls often ask, like:
- How do I handle confrontation with the bitch in the next cubicle?
- Why does the bitch always seem to get what she wants?
- If being nice is a good thing, why do I feel like a doormat?
- Why does the bitch always seem to get what she wants?
- If being nice is a good thing, why do I feel like a doormat?
From practical how-to-succeed scenarios to laugh-out-loud lessons, this humorous yet poignant dialogue has something for every woman. A unique mix of rhetoric, real-life revelations, kitschy quizzes, and food for thought, this is the perfect road map for your journey to create a successful life in a nice-girl fashion.
About the Author:
Megan Munroe began her career as an actress, appearing in feature films, music videos, TV shows, and commercials, before moving to Nashville to pursue her career as a country musician and recording two albums.
A teen beauty queen, personal trainer and former literary publicist, her range of life experiences and proven ability to succeed as a nice girl in a bitch's world have led to features in Cowboys and Indians, Country Weekly and more. For more information, visit MeganMunroe.com.
My Thoughts:
What I learned from Bitch, Please, is that there are two kinds of women in the world, in all walks of life, occupations or location. There is the nice girl, with a little bitch inside, and there is the bitch with very little nice girl inside. The book has lots of ways to be a nice girl in-spite of what life throws at us in this fast paced, busy world we live in. We can either be a doormat or we can learn how to be nice, successful, and happy women. This book is a great guide on how to accomplish all of these things. It has quizzes , real life stories and humor that makes this an easy book to read. I enjoyed it and recommend it.
I received this book from Turner Publishing and was not monetarily compensated for my review.
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