Category: LGBT, Self-Help, Relationships, Non-Fiction
Tour Dates May 23-June 15, 2023
ISBN: 978-1655065-870
Available in Print and ebook, 273 pages
Description It's Not All About You by Elisabeth L. Morrissey
Review It's Not All About You by Elisabeth L. Morrissey
Guest Review by Laura
All of the qualities that make you fall in love with a
good non-fiction book are present in the text of, 'It’s Not All About You:
Living with a Transsexual Spouse or Partner,' by Elisabeth L. Morrissey.
This book deals with the issue of what to do when your
spouse reveals that they are transsexual and are interested in living as the
opposite gender. Should you stay with them? Should you get a divorce? These are
obviously not questions that Elisabeth Morrissey can answer for anyone, and she
makes that very clear, but she does provide a great deal of advice on the topic
that the reader can use to make the decision themselves.
Morrissey is married to a transsexual woman named
Karen, and, although she met Karen after the woman came out as trans, Morrissey
has studied a lot on the topic and met with a lot of trans people in order to
write this book.
Every stage of learning about and dealing with this
new reality is covered in the book, from the initial emotional reaction to your
spouse or partner's revelation, to considering whether or not you should stay
married, to other major problems that you and your spouse may face.
I especially appreciated Morrissey's emphasis on how
to address the situation if you and your spouse have children, and how their
feelings should be taken into consideration. So often, the children are left
out of these types of books, so I loved that she included a lot of care into
dealing with how they handle the situation.
This self-help book was both very gentle and
compassionate, while also being wonderfully upfront and realistic. Morrissey
does not mince words when she talks about the societal shame and judgment that
people often go through when they come out as transgender, and how much of that
will blow back on their spouse if they decide to stay married.
I greatly enjoyed reading this book and I think you
will as well, even if you just read it out of curiosity!
Guest Post by Elisabeth L. Morrissey
Why I Decided to Write ‘It’s Not All About You’
I never planned to write this book. I kept
searching for a book that might provide some support for this highly unusual
relationship but kept coming up empty. It was really frustrating and made me
feel like I was the only person in the world who was even trying to do this. It
slowly sank in that after 25 years, I probably knew more about how such a
relationship works than many of the authors of the clinical books, or stories
of angry divorces was reading.
Writing something as personal as "It's Not All About You" takes a lot
out of a writer. It's not like writing a novel. With a novel, an author dreams
up a story and by the end has tied up all the loose ends. With a self-help
book/ memoir, you are dredging up memories. Some you cherish; some you'd rather
forget. You have to decide how detailed you want to make those recollections. You
have to take the risk of upsetting the real people you're writing about. My
wife and I had some strong disagreements over what I was putting into it, but
in the end, I was able to convince her that these real-world stories would be
of more help than anything that was invented out of thin air.
And the "self-help"
aspect is no easier. You want to encourage people who may be in a similar
situation without being directive. Again, the anecdotes included need to
address common situations the reader may experience, without implying
"This is the right way to handle the situation." All you can really
do is give examples from your own life or the lives of people you've
interviewed.
The research for this book meant a lot
of late nights reading related works and following news sites for information
on the battles going on across the country and around the world for trans
rights, as well as closely following the struggle for same-gender marriage. It
was relevant since depending upon whom a transperson is attracted to, the
relationship can be labeled same-or opposite sex; the label may change
depending upon how much physical change the transperson chooses to
pursue.
It was a challenging endeavor, but
now that it's done, it was worth it, and I hope it helps other people brave
enough to take this plunge.
©Elisabeth L. Morrissey
About Elisabeth L. Morrissey
Elisabeth Morrissey learned a lot as a volunteer for several years at the Gender Identity Center of Colorado, a transgender support organization, and from her twenty-five-year marriage to a male-to-female transsexual. She is otherwise a homemaker and support system for her spouse, Karen. 
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elmorrissey
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100049203941245
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I'm so glad Laura enjoyed 'It's Not All About You'! Thanks for hosting Elisabeth!
ReplyDeleteYou are welcome! Good luck to the author for the success of the book and tour!
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